Episode 32
Outgrowing a Relationship That Once Felt Like Home? It's Okay If You Let Go
Some relationships feel like home – until they don’t. And when you’ve tied them to someone you’ve lost or to a version of yourself you used to be, letting go can feel confusing, disloyal, or even impossible.
This short reflection is a reminder that outgrowing a relationship doesn’t erase its meaning. You can honor the past while still choosing what’s right for you now. Letting go isn’t cold or ungrateful – it’s often one of the bravest, kindest things you can do for yourself.
You’re allowed to outgrow what no longer fits. Even if it once mattered deeply.
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Transcript
00:05
Hey, this is It's Okay If, bite-sized permission slips. I'm Matt Gilhooly, and today's permission, it's okay if you outgrow relationships that once felt like home. This one's personal for me. When I was eight, my mom died in a motorcycle accident, and after that, I held on tightly to my relationship with her mom, my grandmother. Not because it was easy, but because I felt like I should. Like staying connected to her was a way of staying connected to my mom.
00:37
But the truth was, that relationship always felt one-sided. I was the one reaching out, keeping it going, trying to bridge a gap that maybe wasn't meant to be closed.
00:50
For a long time, I told myself it was my responsibility, that walking away would be disloyal, that it would somehow erase my mom. But in my 20s, I finally made the choice to let it go, to release the obligation, to accept that not every relationship, even family, is meant to last forever. And you know what? That decision didn't erase my love for my mom. It didn't undo our history.
01:17
It just honored the reality of what that relationship was and wasn't.
01:23
Outgrowing people doesn't make you cold or ungrateful. It means you're paying attention to what you need now. So if you're carrying that tension today, holding onto a relationship out of habit or guilt or because of what it used to be, it's okay to reassess, to lovingly let go. You can honor the past and still choose what's healthy for you now. So if you're up for it, tell yourself, I give myself permission to outgrow what no longer fits. I can honor the past
01:53
and still move forward. That's your permission slip, friend. Tuck it in your pocket, and I'll see you next time.
