Episode 13
Feel Lonely Even When You're Not Alone? It's Okay If You Do
Loneliness doesn’t always look like isolation. Sometimes, it shows up in the middle of conversations – in a full room, during meaningful work, even when you’re surrounded by people.
This short reflection explores the ache that comes from being present for others while feeling unseen yourself.
When you're the one holding space, listening deeply, showing up – but no one’s holding space for you in return – that loneliness is real.
You’re not wrong for feeling disconnected in the middle of connection.
You’re not broken.
You’re human.
And you’re allowed to feel lonely, even if everything on the outside looks fine.
Transcript
00:06
Hey, this is It's Okay If, bite-sized permission slips. I'm Matt Gilhooly, and today's permission, it's okay if you feel lonely, even when you're surrounded by people. This one hits close. Because there's been times, especially during heavy recording seasons for the Life Shift podcast, when I've spent hours listening to other people's holding space, being present, deep.
00:36
meaningful, valuable, insightful, personal conversations. But behind the scenes, I'd close my laptop and then I'd sit in the quiet and I would feel this ache that I couldn't quite name. And eventually, I realized what it was. Loneliness. Not because I wasn't connected to anyone, not because I didn't value the stories that I was hearing.
01:05
But because while I was holding space for everyone else, I wasn't letting anyone hold space for me. I was the listener, but perhaps I felt I wasn't being heard. And maybe you felt that too. You show up for others, you're in the room, you're part of the conversation, and yet inside, maybe you feel invisible. Loneliness isn't always about being alone.
01:36
Sometimes it's about not feeling seen, even in a crowded room, even in the middle of conversations. And if that's where you are today, that's okay. That's human. That's valid. So if you're up for it, tell yourself, give myself permission to feel lonely, even when I'm surrounded by people. That's your permission slip, friend. Tuck it in your pocket and I'll see you next time.
