Episode 6
Can't Hold It All Together Today? It's Okay If You Need to Fall Apart
There are days when holding it all together just isn’t possible. And despite what we’ve been taught – to push through, to stay strong, to keep showing up – sometimes the bravest thing we can do is let ourselves break.
If you're carrying grief, burnout, or just too much of everything, this short reflection is your reminder that falling apart doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
You don’t have to be the strong one all the time. You don’t have to keep it all together today. You’re allowed to set something down – even just for now – and let that be enough.
Transcript
00:06
Hey, this is It's Okay If, bite-sized permission slips. I'm Matt Gilhooly, and today's permission, it's okay if you can't hold it all together today. For as long as I can remember, I have been the one who tries to hold it all together. The responsible one, the strong one, the one who shows up. It started early. When I was eight, I lost my mom in a motorcycle accident. And that kind of loss, it really makes you grow up fast.
00:36
and becoming the strong one was my way of coping. Later in my mid-30s, I lost my grandmother, who really truly was my best friend. That loss brought up a different layer of grief, one that stayed quiet but constant. And then more recently, I lost my dog, Mikey. He wasn't just a dog. He was truly my family, and he was a constant in my life. He was the quiet companion through some of my hardest seasons.
01:06
So when Mikey passed away, everything in me broke. At first, I tried to keep going. I answered text messages, I answered emails, I went to meetings, and I told myself, you can do this, Matt. Just push through. But inside, I was unraveling. And eventually, I had to admit it. I couldn't do it. I could not function like a normal human. I could not hold space for other people. I couldn't even hold it for myself.
01:36
I wasn't okay. And as much as I wanted to fight it, what I really needed was to let myself fall apart for a while. No pretending. No pushing through. Just letting myself be broken. And you know what? That didn't make me weak. It made me human. So, if today you feel like you're barely holding on, or maybe you've already let go of the rope, that's okay.
02:06
You don't have to hold it all together today. You don't have to be the strong one. What is one thing you can set down even just for today? So if you're up for it, tell yourself, I give myself permission to fall apart when I need to. I don't have to hold it all. That's your permission slip, friend. Tuck it in your pocket and I'll see you next time.
